**This post may contain triggers**

I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a post from a girl I went to high school with. I saw a picture of her sweet baby girl, and as I read the caption, my heart dropped.

Her precious infant had passed away. As I read the last word, I glanced at that photo one last time and then closed the app, trying to fight the negative thoughts that wanted to overwhelm me.

That could have been my son.

SIDS doesn’t discriminate.

My heart aches for the pain she has to go through, and it aches every time I think of all the ways I could lose my children. It’s morbid to think about losing your child, and it feels taboo to talk about, yet I find myself struggling with so many fears associated with motherhood.

Fear in Motherhood

It all started in the spring of 2016; my husband and I found out we were expecting our first baby, and we were beyond excited. So excited that we shared the news with everyone way earlier than most would. But a few weeks into the pregnancy, the midwife confirmed I was miscarrying our child.

First pregnancy husband and wife mom worries

I remember the moment I realized I was losing our baby. It’s burned into my memory as a way to memorialize the child I never got to meet officially. From that moment on, fear became a constant enemy.

A few months after our first pregnancy, we were pregnant again, and although we were overjoyed, there was an overcast of fear from so many around us. What if it happens again? We could see the difference in how people took our news; fear cast a shadow on every moment between our positive pregnancy test and our baby's entrance into this world.

I naively believed the fear would subside once we got to 12 weeks, but it didn’t. Instead, it manifested itself in a variety of ways. In my case, the fear of losing yet another child turned into nagging anxiety that has yet to leave.

Related: The Day He Became a Father

New Mom Anxiety

In some ways, I wish I could say that my worries and anxiety were abnormal. Because if it were, then it would mean that very few mothers would suffer the agonizing “what if’s” that plague me. But that’s not the case.

It’s completely normal to be worried, nervous, or uneasy about something like pregnancy and motherhood. For most of us, it’s a case of new mom anxiety*. From the moment you become a mom, whether biological or through adoption, fear and anxiety is an ever-present factor in your life.

Every kick, hiccup, or cramp causes you to stop and process whether everything is normal or you need to see a doctor right away. Every trip to the bathroom can bring feelings of dread or panic, waiting to make sure nothing is tinged with blood.

Every time our babies sleep longer than expected, fear sets in. Every time a fever spikes, we go back and forth, deciding what’s the rational course of action. Everything and nothing can be a trigger for new mom anxiety.

It is entirely normal for first-time moms to be scared. It’s also entirely normal for second and third-time moms to be scared as well. Because we love something so much, the idea of losing it becomes absolutely devastating. This is why I have learned to focus on preaching to myself the truth I found in the Bible.

If you have been crushed with anxiety, whether a new mom or an older mom, I encourage you to preach to yourself the truth found below.

NOTE: If the anxiety is so bad it affects how you live, please seek professional help.

(**Because I am not a licensed Psychologist, we aren’t going to talk about severe cases of anxiety and fear**)

Encouragement for Motherhood Anxiety

“Sometimes the only way out is through” - possibly Robert Frost.

If there were a 3-step process to overcoming motherhood anxiety, I would give it to you in a heartbeat. But unfortunately it isn’t that easy. We are humans designed to create a life within us, we will inevitably struggle with fear and or anxiety.

Rather than finding ways to avoid it, we can meet it head-on and squash it with the absolute truth. For other believers and me, that truth comes from the Bible.

We can use the verses listed below, as well as many other verses, to squelch the fear and anxiety that threatens to keep us from enjoying the seasons of motherhood.

Bible Verses about Pregnancy Worries

If you find yourself needing to preach to yourself the truth, allow these words to fill you up and carry you. Just because it’s normal to worry or be scared doesn’t mean you have to let it take over your life.

If you’ve suffered a miscarriage, know that God hears your cries. He knows the pain of losing a child, and He promises to carry you through. If you’ve lost a baby to stillbirth, SIDS, childhood illness, or something else, His promises are for you too.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. - Romans 5:3-5, NLT

Know that we will experience hard times, but He will use it to mold us and strengthen us. He will carry us through the fear and the hard times, and He will ALWAYS be with us.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, NIV

Pregnancy and motherhood are challenging and can be very scary, especially if you have suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth, but His grace is sufficient. It is enough. We don’t need to be strong because when we allow ourselves to be weak and rest in Him, we are strengthened beyond measure.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7, NIV

The only way to receive peace in a season filled with fear and anxiety is through God. It makes no sense, yet He promises to guard our hearts and minds.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7, NIV

He cares about it all. No anxiety is too big or too small for Him.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he create. - James 1:17-18, NIV

Every pregnancy is a good and perfect gift.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

Often taken out of context, this verse does not mean our suffering will end. It doesn’t mean we won’t go through hard seasons; instead, it gives us hope that we will learn to thrive despite the struggle.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Even when we don’t understand why something is happening, we can trust in God. I didn’t understand why I had to lose my first child, but I believe with all my heart that God used that dark moment.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9, NIV

My life verse. We don’t have to be afraid because He is always with us.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28, NIV

Take comfort in knowing that God is always in control no matter what happens, and He will use it all for good.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. - Psalm 46:1-3, NIV

Again, God is present in our troubles. He knows all of our fears.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken - Psalm 55:22, NIV

When our anxiety overwhelms us, we can hand it over to God.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.- Matthew 11:28, NIV

When we are tired or burdened from motherhood fears, we can go to Him and seek comfort and rest.

Momma, I pray that you are encouraged to know you are not alone as you navigate the different seasons of motherhood. It is normal to worry about our babies. It is normal to fear the change from bringing a child into this world or caring for one we have been blessed to raise. But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean we have to suffer through it.

You are not alone.