Helping Your Spouse Grow Spiritually in 6 Easy Steps
/I looked in awe as an older couple stood in front of me and was filled with envy at their spiritual maturity as a couple. When we had a moment of privacy, I opened up how I hoped my future husband would be just as strong in his faith as her husband, but I did not anticipate her response.
“Oh honey,” she replied, “this has been 20 years in the making. It wasn’t until recently that he stepped into a more spiritual leadership role.
Wow...20 years. She waited 20 years for him to step into that role. Could I wait that long? “What did you do?” I asked, “how did you encourage your spouse in his faith?” Her answer was simple; she prayed a lot.
How can I help my husband grow spiritually?
Have you found yourself wishing your husband would initiate devotional time together? Do you wish your spouse would read the Bible with you or the kids? Have you ever questioned your partner’s faith and wondered if he was falling away from God?
Many of these questions are common amongst us. We find ourselves in a relationship where we are the more spiritually mature person.
As we plug into the Christian church, we notice the areas where our spouses fall short, but the last thing we should do for our husbands is comparing their spiritual life to someone else.
When I got plugged into a church, I saw examples of what a man of faith looked like. I got this vision in my head that a Christian husband would initiate prayers at meals and evening times.
A Christian husband would lead devotionals with his wife and children. A Christian husband would take the lead on all things spiritual. Yet, as my relationship progressed, all I could think was how my husband wasn’t doing any of those things.
Sure, he was a believer and we went to church, but he never initiated Bible study or devos together... So, what could I do?
It took a lot of introspection and communication for me to be okay with my role in his spiritual life. If you’ve ever felt like your spouse is spiritually indifferent or falling away from God, these 6 steps are for you.
Evaluate your expectations. Why do you think your spouse needs to grow spiritually? Are you comparing him to someone? Do you see him falling away from God?
If you are comparing him to your father, or a friend's spouse, reevaluate your expectations.
If you see him slowly falling away from God, never reading the Bible or if he stops going/being involved with the church then helping him in his faith is a good course of action.
Talk to your spouse. We may have an idea of what our partner’s spiritual life looks like, but ultimately, there is no way to know how you can help him if you don’t talk to him.
You can ask in an unaccusing manner about what his prayer life looks like. You can ask him his opinion on specific topics. You can ask him to help explain difficult concepts you struggle with. You can initiate conversations regarding a sermon you just listened to.
The goal is fostering communication that will spark spiritual curiosity. Now isn’t the time to show off what you know. If communication is already a strain, then this option may not be best for you.
Involve him in your spiritual practices. If you pray with the children, randomly ask your spouse to pray for everyone (Hey babe, can you pray over supper?).
When you need prayer, ask your spouse to pray for you (I’m really struggling with insecurity, will you please pray for me?). When you come across a difficult passage, ask your spouse for their interpretation (I’ve been struggling with the idea that God created everything in 7 days, do you think it was 7 24 hour days or something else?).
You can even ask him to follow along in your bible reading plan together. As you open up opportunities for him to get involved, give him the room to say yes or no without condition.
Ask how you can help. If talking goes nowhere, then simply ask him how you can pray for him. Remember to approach the conversation with humility and respect.
This is not the time to nag at them for a poor spiritual life, but instead, be a safe and vulnerable space for them to seek assistance. If you feel led, ask him how you can encourage him in his faith.
Be the example. We cannot change our husbands but we can be a good example for them. As we read daily and as we pray out loud regularly, we set the example for our spouses. Continue to be the light in your home and allow the Holy Spirit to move within your spouse.
Pray. If none of the above works, pray. We are not the Holy Spirit and we cannot force our husbands to grow in their faith or to change their spiritual life. Much like the older woman I mentioned earlier, sometimes the only thing we can do is pray over and over again and allow the Holy Spirit to convict and grow our spouses. Pray, even if it takes 20 years to see a difference.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 NIV
How to pray for a husband with a hard heart?
Grab your free printable prayer prompts. Just print, cut, & start praying.
Prayers, whether big or small, make a significant difference. The most important thing you can do is pray if you feel as though your husband has fallen away from God or has developed a hard heart. When there is nothing left to say or do, we take to our knees and cry out to God to save our spouses.
Pray that God opens the eyes of your husband. That he is open to the truth. That he sees the truth and allows it to permeate every aspect of his life. (Psalm 119:18)
Pray that God sends someone to pour into your spouse. A godly husband who can speak truth and love and set the example for your spouse. (Luke 10:2)
Pray that God helps your husband understand what He has called us to do. May God reveal His wisdom to your spouse and humbles him to pursue God with all his heart, soul, and mind. (Psalm 119:73)
Pray that as God is patient with us, we are patient with our husbands. That He convict his spirit to repent wholly and willingly. (2 Peter 3:9)
Pray that God softens your husband's heart to receive the Good News. (Psalm 32:8)
12 Scriptures to pray for an unsaved/Indifferent husband
When all your words have failed you, turn to scripture to give you the words to say. Print these 12 verse references and use them as a jumping-off point to helping you pray for your unsaved or indifferent spouse/partner.
Remember to always allow the Holy Spirit to work within you and guide your words.
“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.”
Print the 12 scripture references and use them as prayer prompts for your unsaved spouse or partner.
“Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.”
“Your hands have made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.”
“ ‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.”
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,”
“And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,[a] not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”
“And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
30 Prayers for your Husband's Salvation
If you feel called to pray for your husbands salvation or simply want a challenge, then download these 30 prayer prompts.
Make sure to fill out the form To download this printable!
Pray for God to place someone in your husband's life to pour into him and be a role model.
Pray for his eyes to open up to see the truth about who God is.
Pray for his ears to open up to hear what God has to say.
Pray he can open up to you about his faith, fears, and concerns.
Pray he can learn from your example of being a Christian.
Pray he is open to talking about who God is.
Pray he is willing to attend church as a family.
Pray you both can find a church home that will encourage and equip you both in your faith.
Pray for resources that can aid him on his faith journey.
Pray that you can be the light in your marriage.
Pray the Holy Spirit convicts his spirit to repent and turn his life over to God.
Pray God captivates his whole heart.
Pray that he has an open mind to ask questions about who God is, and what it means to be a believer.
Pray for protection from any spiritual attacks.
Pray he is slow to anger and instead responds with compassion and love.
Ask the holy spirit to guide his actions to be a servant, serving others before himself.
Pray he is willing to have questions go unanswered.
Ask God to show him the ways he has fallen short.
Pray for his willingness to receive help and mentorship.
Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you on what to pray for specifically.
Pray he sees Jesus as the way, the truth, and the life and understands the Gospel message.
Pray that he sees God's handiwork in the world around him.
Pray for discernment on when and how to talk to your spouse about his faith.
Pray for his understanding that salvation comes by grace through faith alone and that there is nothing he can do to earn his salvation.
Pray that your husband accepts and understands that Jesus Christ died on the cross for us.
Pray for your spouse to hear God's knocking and be open to a relationship with Christ.
Pray God shows him that He is the way to victory over all the trials he has faced in this world.
Pray he is open to a relationship with God.
Pray he can forgive anything that is getting in the way of a relationship with Christ.
Pray for your patience as your husband discovers his faith.
