Today you took a big step. An extremely brave step. You told me you were pregnant. It was so obvious that you wanted to hide it and didn’t want to hide it all at the same time. You so desperately wanted everything to be ok.
The truth is this is amazing news! I’m so happy for you. You have been given this gift of life. Something you can cherish, literally, for the rest of your life. Someone to love, to hold, to raise, and guide. You are now raising the next little saint for Christ. What an honor! Do not forsake the importance of the task God has placed in front of you.
Today, I told you I was expecting our second baby knowing that it would cause a storm of emotions inside of you. I didn’t know how to tell you, and honestly, I was afraid. I didn’t want to cause you any pain, yet I knew that there was no way around it.
The moment I found out I was expecting, I immediately thought of you.
Let me start this out by saying I am no expert in marriage. Trust me. 4 years does not make anyone an expert. But you don't have to be married 20+ years to have learned a few lessons here and there. Truth be told, you should be learning something new every day!
As David and I celebrated 4 years of marriage (and by celebrated, I mean really we are unpacking our household goods), I wanted to share the top 4 lessons I learned in the last 4 years.
Regardless of your beliefs on a woman’s role in society, I urge you to take a second and consider my words. Instead of judging your sister for her perceived effect on the feminist cause, can you instead focus on uplifting her and encouraging her to follow God’s prompting for her life?
All too often, we allow the fear of being judged to remove what it means to be the woman we were created to be. Girly-girl or tomboy, baker or grill master, whatever the preference, it's a personal choice that should not be influenced by the society around us. Don’t let fear or culture steal that choice from you.
See, it wasn’t until I was in my late teens to mid 20’s that I embraced femininity, before then, I fought it like the plague; as if being a woman was a bad thing!
I hated the idea that men and women were different. I wanted to believe that we were the same and could do the same things and I wanted to prove it.
This showed in the activities I was interested in as a pre-teen/teen. I would avoid any activity that related to “50’s housewife” life, such as cleaning, baking or helping my mom in the kitchen. If the boys didn’t have to do it, then I shouldn’t have to either—this was my main argument.
Not too long ago I saw something in a woman’s Facebook group that really disturbed me. To set the stage--a professional woman in a leadership position was asking advice on things she could do to show her office she appreciated them. She then proceeded to say she was hesitant to make and bring in home-baked goods for fear of setting women back 50 years…
When I read that statement, I struggled to comprehend what she meant. Did she really think that bringing in chocolate chip cookies would degrade her authority in a professional atmosphere?
The number one advice we were given when we got engaged was to compromise in marriage, and it would all work out. But all compromising did was leave me frustrated and a little resentful. My stubborn husband rarely compromised, what was I supposed to do?
You were so deeply hurt you feel like throwing up. Your stomach churns those words, those feelings into a clump of pain stuck in your throat.
You seldom know what to do with that pain. You try to pray; You try to imagine the hurt Jesus carried to the cross; You try to put things in perspective by imagining how often and deeply you hurt God. But in reality you’ve been known to rip your shirts and scream into pillows.
This past week you moved on up to the toddler room at your new CDC. As your father and I went to pick you up, we spoke to your caregiver to see how the day went. Quickly, the caregiver you had spent 8 hours with noted your bossiness and stubbornness.
My heart has become an entangled mess; fiercely fighting the reality that I’ve become bitter. The bitterness is controlling of my logic, my feelings. Who I want to be, how I want to love, my words, my reactions are not what I want them to be. If I were to take my heart out of my body; maybe I wouldn’t even recognize it?
In my imagination, I had envisioned a full-on cheerleading squad from everyone that I cared about. A squad to pour into me, words of affirmation, as I wrote to my heart's content, but where is the challenge in that?
“Sometimes you must HURT in order to KNOW, FALL in order to GROW, LOSE in order to GAIN, because life's greatest lessons are learned through PAIN.” - Alicia Taylor
When fantasy met reality, I learned that God was calling me to be obedient regardless of any external factor.