When God picks your husband for you, you may be surprised with a few of the details…
My husband was going to be a guitar player. He was going to whisk me away every evening with romantic rifts. His blonde hair would swoosh as I ran my hands through it. His hulk-like strength would allow him to carry me everywhere, as I was naturally a damsel in distress frequently needing to be carried... He would work out with me, enjoy meticulously planned weekends, and eat ice cream like it was the only food group in existence.
Fast forward a bit - my dating days didn’t consist of a ton of dates - I often joke that everyone always wanted to marry me while I was just looking for a few nights on the town. No one man was my prince charming, but when I met Micah I knew there was no going anywhere - he was the one. I asked all my wise friends and mentors, “how do you know when he’s the one?!”. BTW, no one gave me a good answer but I did quickly realize that I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
In the daze of our new love, I couldn’t clearly see his traits compared with the made-up traits in my head. But as our love turned into marriage and marriage turned from hours to days to months to years - over time, the reality of who Micah actually was didn’t really line up with who prince charming was in my head.
At first I found myself angry, even resentful, when I’d discover something new about him, “you mean you need time alone?!” “You don’t want to wake up at 7am on a Saturday with me?!” “You don’t believe in eating dessert every night of the week?!” I’d go so far to say that sometimes I felt betrayed. Surprised that he wasn’t a clone of who I had created in my mind. Spiritually we were often on different pages too - that triggered a whole new set of disappointment and conflict.
For a long time, It felt hopeless - I felt like I’d never escape from the wrath of my adolescent fantasties. But with the combination of prayer, grace from Micah (and the Lord), counseling, and time I have learned to love my husband for who God has made him to be. I no longer impose my fantasy of who my husband “should be” onto who he actually is. And everyday, I’ve learned to adore something new about him.
The other evening, I was sitting beside him as his long, sturdy fingers confidently played the keys of our piano. He played our wedding song. His tall stature hung over the piano, his blue eyes raced the notes, and I gazed in awe that God gave me this man.
For this man is kind, brilliant, steady, opinionated, and ceaselessly puts me and our son first. With him, I have learned that marriage isn’t a race to always be at the same place all the time, but rather a dance. You find a flow with one another, respecting their style and pace.
So, maybe I wasn’t given a man who could lul me through the strumming of a guitar but instead I was given a man who wins my heart while waltzing with the keys of our piano.