Finding Gratefulness in a Season of Hopelessness

The day came to a close. I laid my boy down to sleep, shut his bedroom door, hearing the hush of his white noise humming in the background – I was washed over with a deep, complete feeling of gratefulness. What I haven’t told you yet is that my dear father-in-law (Monga) had a heart attack earlier this day.

He survived.

Like all heart attacks, we didn’t see it coming. We didn’t really know he had a heart attack until the Doctors were in the middle of the angiogram and found three major blockages. He’s not a big guy, very healthy and does manual labor for a living. Again, didn’t see it coming.

From the abruptness of the incident to the quick-working Doctors, and him being home within 36 hours and playing with my son on the living room floor – the what could have been to the reality of his flourishing life – all of it, just takes my breath away.

God saved one of the most important people in my life.

So from one of the hardest, heaviest days of my life, I walked away grateful. Overjoyed, actually.

What I also haven’t told you is that Monga’s heart attack happened during a treacherous season of my life. A season including lots of hopelessness, one heavy event after another (sickness, husband being deployed, insomnia, family issues), and overall sadness. But while Monga had the actual heart attack, I think my heart was restarted. The gratefulness I have for his life and it being re-gifted to us, has given my heart a living beat again. I now feel my blood pulsing through my body, I’m feeling alive. I’m beginning to think maybe I can feel joy again.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” - Romans 5: 3-5

It’s amazing, utterly amazing, how God can take trauma, pain, desperation and give us life. He can restore life, give life, and continue life in the darkest seasons. With the strength, mercy, and grace of our Lord and Savior, we can take one more thing.

We can handle one more awful week.

We can swallow more bad news.

We can live through another exhausting day.

Keep your eyes open, heart ready, and anticipate the Lord’s goodness always.

Psalm 23:6 “Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”